On the Staycation

I am on a ten-day-long staycation. This is a time for me to rest and play, but also a time to catch up on stuff at home and continue to focus on physical training. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t mind just hanging out on a beach in the Caribbean, but I just didn’t plan things right. So here I am, on a vacation at home. Sam and I are taking long walks in Central Park in the mornings and lingering there a little longer than we usually do. Then I go home, eat something and take a nap. I have dinners, a movie and at least two beach visits in mind. I also got three books, which I am rapidly getting through; Crusoe’s Daughter, by Jane Gardam, The Lilac House, by Anita Nair and The Snowman, by Jo Nesbo. When I am not indulging in these activities, I am catching up on things like cleaning, getting my AC from the storage place, etc. I thought I would dislike doing these things, but no. It feels good to catch up. I go to the gym three days in a row and take one day off, the again three-day on and so forth. I’m hoping to maintain this exercise pattern once back to work. So it is all working out beautifully. But, let me tell you, on day three, unexpectedly, I felt at a complete loss. I was restless. I had nothing to do and I didn’t know what to do with myself! I laid down to take a nap, but I couldn’t stop thinking and I had to get up. Noooo, what was this? I spoke to a few friends who all seem to agree that this was a common phenomenon that they had all experienced themselves. We all lead such busy lives that relaxing simple does not come that easy, it takes a couple of days before we will feel completely at ease with the notion of not having to work. The following day I somehow miraculously overcame my restless phase and all is now good again in the Sitwell household.

Image above by spreadshirt.com.

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On the Personal Trainer

I now have a personal trainer. This did not use to be the case. Only a few years back, I would look forward to my five weekly Bikram Yoga classes or put in with enthusiasm 30 miles of running per week training for a half-marathon. But for the past year or so my discipline and motivation to exercise have dwindled, largely due to my challenging job. So I joined a gym and with it signed up for a trainer, let’s call him Mike. Mike is strict with me and I like it, there is not really any other way of putting it. He organizes my weekly exercise schedule and bosses me around in the gym. Surprisingly, there is a sense of relief in being able to give in to him being in charge for one hour per week. Honestly, I think I have a little crush on him. How could I not! There is something so intimate about the personal trainer/client relationship. We see each other regularly. Mike has seen me at my worst, sweating and exhausted, and he knows things about me that I would only tell a friend. Of course our relationship would never go any further than that. The mutual unspoken understanding that is implicit in a contract with a personal trainer is that one would never go beyond the gym setting. But, ultimately, I think the the forbidden quality of this contract becomes the source of all kinds of fantasies and desires. The fantasy of the personal trainer as a personal caretaker is part of what makes the client motivated to return.